i dont wanna close my eyes,
i dont wanna fall asleep cos i miss you babe
and i dont wanna miss a thing

im at steph's hse now :) gna meet sq ltr for her very belated bday celebration. i love all these meeting ups :) though its not very often. oh well. they will be more treasured than ever :) she ws making me listen to hokkien songs. the songs were melancholic and sad and she looked so solemn i didnt knw whether to laugh or to try to appreciate the hokkien kim po ying song. hahaha. we laughed, we talked, we ate chocolates! :D i love you queenie! thanks for being there!!

ystd ws brendan's early early bday bbq! happy birthday, spongebob! :) thanks for having me over. your party ws quite fun la. me+ele ate up all your grapes and got very high jst doing that. hahah the vodka was so strong and stingy! sorry that we were so bleah halfway (not aa k!) and also that we suddenly went up for supper (im not dirty!) after disappearing for 1.5hrs. haha at least we talked! and saved you momentarily from the drunk ah peks! haha hope youre feeling much better! :)

and the danceworks thingy was lots of fun! though the ending was kinda screwed..oh well. still, had fun! :D was VERY sweaty and sticky though. the eyeliner ws a constant worry :| and the midriffs!! yikes. tummy tummy when we sit down, not good. poo. made me all conscious. and ele+janice, stop teasing me abt non existent stuff! -big eyed glare. haha anw, the dancers did a great job! im sure they'll do well in the finals!

went to fetch tings from the airport on thurs :) im glad to see you again girlie! love you. see you monday! hope youre having a blast with joyce here :)

had 'headache' on tues and went to hwing's hse to watch qiu tian de tong hua. yknw the korean show..cant rmb the english translation for the title of the show but anw we cried buckets. watched for like, 9hrs straight!! and i was being very fat and gross. eating like theres no tomorrow. :| but anw it ws loads of fun too, now that i think back to that day. hahaha. im COMPLETELY in love with taixi. -silly grin.
anw hwing! hope youre feeling alright :( yikes. we shldnt hv talked abt it if it made you increasingly upset. anw thanks for trying to perk me up on friday. haha was being such a sulk.

i'll never break your heart
i'll never make you cry
i'd rather die
believe me now
i'll give you all of me now
honey believe me

k im like, typing out the songs that are in steph's playlist. haha.

anw, this week has been pretty good :) amidst all sadness. myriad of emotions but at the end of it all, i think people around me were fab and made me laugh like a shithead.
sigh, results out tmrw. trying not to think of it. pls pls pls let it be fine. actually i dont knw wht im expecting. cos i cant decide whether to stay in cj. its quite an odd thought, considering how i despised it violently and the fact that its not academically strong or whtever. but ive had so much fun, the people there were really goodness gracious, whether to laugh with or to laugh at, OR to ogle at. hahah. well. shall ponder on that when the need arises :|

ele! midget gem, i swear i love you. hahaha was GREAT talking to you nonstop for 1.5hrs randomly till my stomach (and your throat) cldnt take it at that walkway of brendan's nice house. hahah. ROMANTIC huh. :) -big major hug. dont be so fierce and negative, silly girl! deadly glares are reserved only for certain people only. haha. im so glad we talked. xxoo!!

dada! i miss you too dsf :( reply my letter!!
// and the rapid river will bring the two paper boats together, despite their fragility, slowly but surely, washing away all that brought them apart :)

as you can see, im trying to be positive here.
will not dwell in stuff that upset me! -shakes head!
thanks, everyone who made me smile (you knw who you are)! for being there when i was going through sucky rough patches and cldnt crack a smile. im so so so glad. it meant a lot :)

my cheesiness is burgeoning.
shall cease it at once!
long entry :)
hope next week will be good.

//impossible ; christina aguilera.

happy BIRTHDAYS..

sister ser! 20th feb; happy 18th! youre now officially 2years older than i again. i love you though you cannot stop borrowing my stuff. haha! thanks for everything :)
sq momsie! 19th feb; happy belated 17th! long lost momsie again :| meeting up next sunday right? i love you!
fredadada dsf!! 21st feb; happy early 17th birthday, sweets! mwamwamwa. see ya tmrw :D you know i love you :)

tracy chevalier's falling angels. fab. -sniffs.

what im feeling now is not not not good..
will someone help me out of this pit
its so black here im afraid i cant see
im thinking thoughts i should not think
it scares me that so much has changed.
im caught in a paradoxical situation
im living in distortion
okay. im really exasperated.
this hasnt been a good day.
maybe when i wake up tomorrow
all negativity will be erased
and everything will be back in order.
the mess i once lived in but now realise is order enough.
this is a very stupid and personal entry.
im like, blabbering incoherently.
feeling very messed up inside, i need to sort things out.
i think i'll feel lame the next time i re-read this post,
but whatever
im tired.
night.

// i dont want all these changes.
tell me we'll be alright again.

today started off as okay, then got kinda lousy (tings, im feeling very awful still, sorry! :( ), then got easily annoyed and pissed, then got better :)

why are people different? maybe our difference makes us the same.

hmm. oh well.

We're all we got in this world
When it spins, when it swirls
When it whirls, when it twirls
Two little beautiful girls
Lookin' puzzled, in a daze
I know it's confusing you

tings, im SO sorry. check my gbk okay? yknw i love you!

But then of course everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But it's just something we have no control over and that's what
destiny is
But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream

had retail therapy with ele :D had a fab time, were down then up together. wiffa, i love! :)
bought a ripcurl pencilcase (its for the males. but nvm..), fizzy fish (yay), paperchase stuff (very very cute stickers and stack of pretty colour paper), glamour+teenvogue (so VERY happy :D ++ paris hilton on cover! VERY gorgeous and classy pics of her. she shld take more pics like that instead of Very trashy ones..) and sq's present :)
but i guess such happiness can be pretty short lived..
anw saw hwing with Paper Sharp and mcron. were at the escalator at few levels down bt suddenly Wendy! sheesh his voice is like how distinct..

kayy im very worn out..
shall end with a very pretty song that i currently like a lot

Knew the signs wasnt right
I was stupid, for a while
Swept away, by you
And now I feel like a fool

So confused
My hearts bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldnt see
We were never met to be

Catch myself, from despair
I could drown if I stay here
Keeping busy, everyday
I know I will be ok

But Im
So confused
My hearts bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldn?t see
We were never met to be

So much hurt, so much pain
Takes a while to regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time
You'll be out of my mind
I'll be over you

And know Im
So confused
My hearts bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach, couldnt see
We were never met to be
Out of reach, so far,
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
Theres a life out there for me

okay i suppose the lyrics are kinda strange but it has a nice tune to it!

Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird
I'mma give you the world
I'mma buy a diamond ring for you
I'mma sing for you
I'll do anything for you to see you smile
And if that mockingbird don't sing and that ring don't shine
I'mma break that birdies neck
I'd go back to the jewler who sold it to ya
And make him eat every carat, don't fuck with dad

grass so green, and morning light.

tings! im having a major dilemma trying to figure out wht to give you..plan A ws too ex. haha so i dont think you'd get your parcel on vday itself k? sorry babe. anw did you check your mail? its qt a long one. reply me and send me your dorm add + number k? MISSES! (edited due to prevention of public suspicion tht i have lesbian tendences haha! :|)

>> sleepover ws..aight. were very sleepy and conked out at 2am. haha made them (hwing + jolene) watch bring it on. my tenth time. haha feelin a tad excited ovr vday. giving pres and all. i love (in no order of preference, jst typed whoever came to my mind sorry if i forgot and left you out!) tings steph sq ree nana da ele mina dinah xin yins and everyone else :)

ponned school halfway w hwing. then met my sis to get 2 more vday pres (3 more to go) and bought 2 books w hwing at some mall ive never been to (im so swaku) yay now ive books aplenty to read. hahah. i feel like going nj yknw. heard nasty stuff abt sa. bt i cant make it, obv. oh well.

// ps, da im so excited for you ;D bt i knw wht you think abt it. haha give it a try, babe. it doesnt mean anything.

got 2 tests, homework and vday presents to be prepare for/ done.
aight. shall go do some work now.

look what you made me do,
look what i did for you

my eyes are giving me problems again..
so im gna hv to be a bespectacled bo shi (professor) tmrw :|
yay sleepover tmrw..hope it'd be fun.
k gtg count ang pow money. heh heh.
oh. mum said mst wait till the entire lunar new year is over. alrightt..
suddenly thought of marie's bday party. ws really kinda fun, nw tht i think of it. hahah. gossiping, food, bailey's, being pushed+carried into the pool again and again..fun! :) btw happy belated bday marie! doubt you'll ever read ths bt whtever.

TINGS! check your mail again! now now now. and reply! private stuff tht cannot be disclosed here. haha CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR ADD!! im asking for the umpteenth time already, have to write in blocks. you keep procrastinating! haha i miss you, i miss you. call me soon! -big sad eyes.

shut up, just shut up, shut up

yayy happy lunar new year everyone :)
its like 2am and im talking to hwing online
us, being nocturnal and freaking annoyed people.
anw went and got vday stuff w ele on tues! yay feeling qt accomplished. though i havent gotten for like, 3 people yet. and im still pondering if i shld give my clsmates. and im hating this occasion itself very much, for a very apparent reason. but nvm, im spending it w ree and i love her very very muchie so.

everyth feels so surreal and different ths year. for 16 years, i felt the same excitement over cny. but ths year the zest is gone. and same goes for vday. like, in st nicks whn you go to cls in the morning you alr will hv a little stack of pres on the table and thn thr'll be lotsa hugs and nice smelling stuff and glittery letters and heart balloons and flowers and all. oh well.

i shall stp reminiscing.
night.

TINGS! why no news frm you since sat! :( and you happily come my gbk and nvr sign! btw i rplied your mail v long ago alr! did you knw? so are you coming back? if nt gimme your add k! vday parcel! :D sigh. i miss you lots and lots! happy lunar new year -BIG HUG. ive got stuff to tell you!!

mcron what ahem yknw yknw? -blank look. HAHAH. anw, how did you get here? oh yea, dyou hv a blog or smth? anw happy new year :) youre chinese right?

I stare at your face
Into your eyes
Outside there's so much passing us by
All of the sounds
All of the sights
Over the earth and under the sky
Too much cold and too much rain
Too much heartache to explain

Who needs the world when I've got you
Switch off the sun the stars and the moon
I've all I need inside of this room
Who needs the world when I've got you

I walk on the street
Talk in the dark
I see peoples dreams just falling apart
I open my arms
Tried to be true
Seems like my only truth is you
Am I wrong
Or am I right
All I want is you tonight

i love my best friend..!
who needs the world when i got youuu.

// all american rejects time is standing still

OMG I JST TYPED A LONG ENTRY BT ACCIDENTALLY DELETED ARGH NVM.
shall do it in point form nw..

- its late and im shagged. jst finished typing dear viola's letter

- TINGS CALLED. omg highlight of the day. OF THE YEAR, I MEAN. sheesh. i almost cried. was stunned. was overjoyed. was waiting. I MISS YOU TOO TOO TOO!! HURRY CALL ME BACK ASAP!! I WILL RUN TO THE LOO TO TALK TO YOU!! and my mail??! sigh. jst to hear your voice. yikes! the tears are gonna sting me..haha I CLD NOT BELIEVE MY EARS.

- ponned chi+econs. chi ws a flop. has to write apology letter w some format tht we had to comply to. oh yea, the tcher tld us we had to plead for forgiveness in the letter.. :| sheesh. ws at grand stand happily DOING MATH and listening to hwing's mp3. and also watching the othrs play mangkali loves you. hahah.

- shoppingg! a bag + 2 tops :D

- ws living up to my status and joined hwing+friend for a while..ree ws constipated and shitting at home as usual. hahah stupid hwing and i were being v lame and mean. laughed all the way from the bus to far east to cine to long johns. and i ws still laughing abt our stupid jokes whn she msged me. i ws sniggering so hard while crossing the road i think i ws shaking rather violently and the car drivers might think i ws having fits. talk about being retarded. HAHAH. swimming pool water splash out, mahogany tables, lighting lamps, busy scratching the cards. hahahaha k inside joke. HWING! :D

- then we felt very remorseful and evil for the roots of our jokes were mean. tsk. then we made a pact to mend our ways and also .. be discreet. hahah.

- ree i hope youre alright now..families are all like tht la :) and im sure you'll find a nice skirt! -hugs.

hello there, angel from my nightmare

tdy had x country! qt fun. hahah prefer ths to track runs anyday. running round in tracks is plain sucky and boring la. cos thrs nth to do. anw went to meet aileen aft tht..we had nooch! feels so sec4. sigh. I WISH I WERE STILL SEC4. k i shall try to stp being morbid. bt yea, im drifting away away away from everyone. i hate valentines day. i miss st nicks!

tings theres so much i wna tell you! v happy tht you signed my gbk :) will you pls rply my mail soon :( dyou rmb all our promises last time? how we planned to bury our silly letters and stuff..i miss you! :( things are jst NOT the same without you.

you broke my heart today
i dont know what to say
cant feel a thing at all.
i guess things like this
only happens to dumb girls
im just a dumb dumb dumb girl

k dont ask me why i put tht up. the song is stuck in my mind.
will someone make me happy please.
think im pmsing v badly.
back to lit essay.. :|

i wake up in the morning
put on my face
the one thats gonna get me
through another day
doesnt really matter
how i feel inside
this life is like a game sometimes

WENDY
W	is for	Warm
E	is for	Enthusiastic
N	is for	Natural
D	is for	Dainty
Y	is for	Young

What Does Your Name Mean?

haha ths reminds me of my very quizzy days..
when all was happy and i ws in the mood and had the free time to do such crap and tell my best friend about it. E for emotional is right..